Healing familial patterns is one of the most important healing processes of our lives.
Have you heard the saying, “There is a thin line between love & hate?”
Have you ever felt that way about your family?
“There is a thin line between attachment & expectation & hate,” may be a better way of expressing the saying.
Reason being is that much of what we call love in today’s world is really attachment & expectation. We pick this up from our parents who picked it up from their parents & so on up the family tree.
Family members pass the pattern down from generation to generation without skipping a beat. Until someone in the family line decides healing familial patterns is more important than passing them down.
Here is how it often works…
Our parents do anything & everything for us, because they “love” us & want us to be happy. But when it comes time for them needing something from us, there is an expectation that we do whatever they ask even when they don’t actually ask. They have given us so much, we must now return their favors or we don’t “love” them.
This is what we learn to call “love.” Thus, we learn love is giving to people so they will give back to us because they “love” us. When they give us what we want, we are happy & we “love” them & feel loved by them. But when they are unable or unwilling to give us what we want, we become angry & “hate” them.
This is not love. This is giving with attachment & expectation or expressed another way – giving to get. The problem with learning this familial pattern is that we never truly learn how to love ourselves or others.
Healing familial patterns is how we can stop the cycle & learn how to truly love.
We heal by first becoming aware of the pattern. Next, learning not to engage in it. And finally, letting it go.
This can be accomplished by learning the subtle art of self-awareness & self-love. When we become self-aware we can learn to see when we are giving to get & stop ourselves. Or when we are doing things out of expectation instead of a true desire in our heart & again stop ourselves.
Self-love stems from good self-care activities – giving ourselves the things we need to feel peace, love & joy. Thus, no longer placing the expectation that others must give us these things.
Self-love also means asking for what we need, without attachment or expectation to the outcome. And finally, love can be expressed by giving because we feel abundantly blessed & we have a desire to share our blessings instead of giving to get.
We can master these things by building conscious relationships with others who are practicing self-awareness & engaging in self-care. When we heal this pattern, we have come a long way in our journey toward mastering our energy system in this lifetime.