I have had many and am still working on balancing some.
Working out. Running. Lifting weights. Outdoor activities. Adventure. Travel. Adrenaline. Beach. Sun. Food. Being skinny. Being fit. Eating junk food. Eating healthy food. Alcohol. Marijuana. Ecstasy. Work. Beachbody Coaching. My pets. Shopping. Movies. TV. Relationships. Men. iPhone. Computer. iPad. I am sure there are more but that is all I can think of for right now.
A few weeks ago, I was speaking with a friend about my previous addiction to outdoor adventures with and ex-partner and she said “At least it was an addiction to something healthy.” I can’t say I agree with that statement. Addiction to anything is NOT healthy. It doesn’t make a difference whether the addiction is to outdoor adventures or hard drugs…in the definition of addiction it states it is an unhealthy pattern.
I actually looked up the definition of addiction in the Merrian-Webster dictionary for the purpose of writing this post and just to recap the definition of addiction is:
- 1. A strong and harmful need to regularly have or do something.
- 2. An unusually great interest in something or a need to do or have something.
- 3. A compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal.
- 4. Persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.
Thus, you can really become addicted to ANYTHING when you carry it too far…meaning with persistent compulsive use of the substance (or process) known to be harmful to yourself.
This blog post was inspired by my recent relapse into my travel (process) addiction. I have been working with a conscious healer for over 2 years now…not specifically working with her on healing my addiction but rather working with her on healing my inner self altogether. I knew about my travel addiction because of the work I have done with her but we talked about it before my trip and we both felt I would not have a relapse.
Well, with all good intentions I still had a relapse. I went on the trip and didn’t stick to anything in my routine from home. I spent a lot of time with others doing things I don’t normally do. I felt I was doing okay on the trip because I took a lot more downtime than I had ever taken before. I also spent more time alone then I usually do on these trips. Despite all of these changes, I still didn’t stay present to seeing my addictive personality taking over and driving my life.
When I arrived home from the trip, I experienced a great deal of emotional instability. I was having a really hard time emotionally. My relapse into addiction left me in a weakened state and I was unable to overcome my negative attitude. One minute I was happy, the next angry, and the next wanting to cry. This was all part of my withdrawal to my addiction. I felt all the work I had done for my healing up until this point was lost. I felt like I was back at square one again and would need to start over.
That was not really the case because after a week of being home, I am my renewed self…not back to my old self before the trip or my old self that experienced this type of emotional instability on a daily basis 2 years ago before I started doing the work with my conscious healer. Rather, I am renewed because I have gained a deeper understanding of my addiction and can now work towards further healing of it.
What I did to bring me to my renewed self was massively slow down my life. I spent 3 days doing very little in my work (another addiction of mine) and spent the majority of time taking care of myself (self-care) and my animals. I was also very present to my body and how it was feeling. I was listening for signs of dis-ease as a few of my friends on the cruise (including my roommate) came down with a bad flu after the trip.
As I slowed things down, I knew I had another big potential for relapse coming up on Monday when I returned to work. Monday’s are a big relapse day for me as I take the majority of the weekends off my work and on Monday I feel like I need to get in a week’s worth of work in 1 day. I usually work like a maniac and am totally spent and exhausted at the end of the day.
Now how did I get past my Monday relapse? I enlisted the support of some friends and God. I told a friend about my intention not to have a relapse and she held space for me in that. I also asked God and The Mighty Universe to help me do what I couldn’t do on my own. We are all connected to an Infinite Wisdom that is much more powerful than us. When we call on this power to take us where we need to go, we cannot fail, only learn and grow.
I am happy to report it worked! I am 4 days clean of my travel and work addiction and staying present to my body and myself each moment to avoid relapse. The biggest thing I have learned from this is we cannot overcome it alone. We need a strong support system and belief system in order to overcome our vices so if you are struggling on your own, stop! Reach out to someone who can help. If you want to speak to the conscious healer that is helping me heal mine she can be reached here. Just click on the “Ask JG” and you can set up a free 45-minute consultation but if you do be prepared to work. It won’t be easy but I guarantee it will be worth it!